I was supposed to be working on something else... a number of other something else's, but I got distracted. One afternoon, while waiting for some water to heat up, I saw the outdoor light coming through the window and shining directly through the honey bear bottle.
I stood there and felt the hook being set in my chest. The little bear practically whispering, "Psssst! Paint me... PAINT ME!!!" I stood there a little while longer, looking at the way the light whipped through the bottle, noticing the smug little smile on the bear. It knew something I only had an inkling about, but didn't quite fully grasp yet.
I went back to work on other painting jobs, but the bear stayed with me. Late at night, the bear would pop into my mind... standing like a sentry next to a piece of toast... and then I could see the plate... and the knife. Pretty soon I saw the angle of the light and the table covering and then, I felt the butterflies.
I'd be painting the bear. The other stuff would have to wait. The bear was not taking no for an answer and neither was I.
Not all projects feel like this, but I love the ones that do. You don't really care about the end, but just want to get in the middle of the action. You're slightly buzzing when you doing it and thinking about it when you're not. You're infatuated. Every stage is satisfying. Every perfectly placed stroke is a visceral jolt. Even the poorly placed strokes aren't that bad because you don't care, you know it will work out somehow, besides, as I said, the end is not the goal, but rather, the process.
A number of years back I had a scene I wanted to paint. I could feel it. I knew the angle I wanted, the kind of light, the items and how they would be placed. I was giddy when I started that painting. I couldn't wait to keep at it, but it was summer and it was incredibly humid. The paint wasn't drying. I like to work on paintings in stages. I prefer the previous level to be just a bit tacky... still able to blend, but not entirely lifting off the surface when you use a stiff brush. This one was not obliging. I'd leave it alone, sure I could get back at it the next day, but sure enough, it was still too wet.
I waited...
And finally the day came and I was able to dive in. Working on that piece was a joy. Did it turn out perfectly? No, probably not. No, I'm sure it did not. I can see a million flaws to this day, but I don't care because even for all of the flaws, there is something more important going on.
That spark.
I tried to recreate that scene a number of years later in a smaller size. It didn't work. It looks fine, but I look at it and it is so obvious the spark is not there. My intention was not pure. I was merely hoping to recreate something that so many people liked, but I suppose I forgot the process and merely focused on the end. Mistake.

I'm still feeling the spark with the bear and am not worried about the end. Viva la spark. Here's the spark in process. More to follow... Click on the image to see a close-up of the bear in action.
Ok.. I'm adding more commentary because TypePad is not letting me stack these images one on the other. Let's see if it works now. TypePad could use some sparks.
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