Saying yes...

It feels like you should have known...

I had one of those days a number of months back... one of those days where you know you should probably just stay under the covers. I had a new painting class starting. Most of the usual suspects were going to be missing this session due to travel or health issues. Actually, we were all supposed to be missing this session since the newer powers that be had held hard and fast to the "must meet minimums for a class to run" rule. I had warned and warned some more... class was not going to happen as we were only going to have 5 people. I wasn't that worried, knowing enrollment would pick up for future sessions. I was actually looking forward to a break. I needed some extra freedom in my schedule due to other things in my life that needed my attention... but then my boss did something insane and decided to run the class... with two people, one of whom would not be able to make it due to a bad reaction to anesthesia. I had told my boss I needed the break, but no... she decided I'd be doing a lesson for one. While the person who came to class was wonderful... she really didn't want any painting instruction. It was going to be a long 6 weeks.

Anyhow, that first day, I realized I had no clean painting clothes. No problem, I had time to do a fast, small load... it was just the washer decided to stop, not once, but twice. Same for the dryer. By the time I finally got things washed, the dryer would not stay on. These are relatively new machines. It was bizarre. 4 hours later, I managed to have a damp pair of painting clothes to wear. I went to load up the car when my dogs decided jumping up on the door would be a good idea thus shutting it. Of course the door was locked. Of course the emergency key was not in its spot. Of course my house keys were inside, in my purse, with my phone, and my car fob. Of course it was starting to rain. I ditched my uber-heavy painting bag on the patio and hoofed it to work, luckily having my work key in my coat pocket. I also knew YL would get home before me, so she'd have her keys... I'd get back inside. I just didn't think of what it would look like to her when she got home. There'd be my purse, phone, keys, etc, on the table, and my painting bag on the patio, car in the driveway,  but no me! I came home to find a tearful YL on the phone with her father telling him I'd been kidnapped.

The day had other weirdness, but I'll briefly summarize the ending by saying the father we always joked about being a perv, was actually arrested for being a perv. All attention went to news stories about that.

Flash forward to the present. Grizzled and I had been commenting off and on how we had not heard from a longtime friend for a while. She hadn't returned my email... her landline was disconnected... not that odd as her cellphone was still taking messages, but none were returned. She was a lone wolf type so it wasn't unusual to not hear from her for a few months. Still, something wasn't sitting right. I finally remembered to enter her middle initial into a google search the other day and found out she'd been killed in a car/pedestrian accident... almost 4 months ago, on that totally messed up day. Had it not been for all of the perv news, we would have heard about the accident, would have known it was right by her place, and would have thought to check on her sooner, but we missed it. It feels so wrong to have known someone for 25 years and that they can die and you don't know it. I feel neglectful even though I know I've done nothing wrong... it's just the way it is. In this world of hyper-connectivity, we still have our space. It's a blessing and a curse. Still, I wonder, were my washer and dryer trying to tell me? Were the dogs trying to tell me? Was the universe trying to tell me?? "Hey! This day is fucked because your friend was killed this morning! Pay attention!"

Most of us don't blog anymore, or at least not like we did... and even when we were checking in daily, I always remember thinking, we were connected, but we weren't really a part of a family/friend phone tree. People could die and we'd never know... not unless we hit it lucky with a morbid google search. It seems wrong. For all of our advancements over the centuries, it seems like we should have invented a way to let people know, but no, we're not much better off than we were a hundred or more years ago when people would move to far away locales and who knew if you'd ever hear from them again... Still, it seems like we should know.

RIP Maureen.

EL showed me this...

It almost made me like them for a second...

Helping Jennifer

Testing, testing... is this thing on?? I used to be able to operate this blog in my sleep, and did, for years.

So, as a favor to Thundra, who did me a favor, I am putting up a post. You see, Thundra actually helped me... identify a speedra.

We've had a large speedra living in our porch light for at least the past month. YL kept commenting on how fast it was and how LARGE it was. Whenever I looked up, I only saw insect remnants and a spider that looked no larger than a nickel, which to me, is big, but not terrifying, at least from that distance.  I pointed it out one evening, pretty sure she'd say yes, that was it. When I did, she said, "Oh no, Mom. That's nothing, this spider is BIG! And FAST!" I hated that spider... but it was outside, so I resisted the urge to give the lamp a Silkwood shower and left it alone.

I'd look though... whenever I passed by... not sure if I wanted to see it or not. I looked, mainly to see if I could see it right before it attacked me. I'd look when I got out of the car. I looked when I walked by. I looked, especially when unlocking the front door. One day, when YL and I were returning home, I was unlocking the door, but was not looking at the lock. Instead, I was looking off to the right, at the light. Was the speedra going to attack when my hands were full?? This was when I felt the knob turn in my heads and I uttered a gutteral, "Uhhhhhhh, oh my GOD!" I heard EL on the other side of the door, laughing. "You thought I was the spider, didn't you??" Yes, yes, I did. Somehow it made sense. The evil speedra had gotten inside and was waiting to welcome me home... to my death.

One night, last week, I finally saw the legs. Holy mother of gawd... I did not want to see what was attached to those legs. I knew it was outside, and it was doing the good that spiders do, but still, it's getting colder. I did not want that spider deciding to let itself in. I thought again of hosing it out, but nature beat me to it. Ah yes, late yesterday afternoon, we had a powerful storm where it rained sideways. I didn't give the lamp much thought, but was more concerned about the doorframe I had just painted. After the storm passed, Grizzled went out to check on something and realized YL had left an umbrella on the porch. He opened it to let it dry out when he saw something on it...

THE SPEEDRA!!!

The rain had come down (or sideways) and washed the spider out... onto the umbrella... Grizzled shook it off away from the house, but I wanted to be sure it would not be stalking us... me... I emailed Thundra... asking for help. Heh.

At first Thundra thought it might be a wolf speedra (I was afraid of that), but after me mentioning that although it prefered to hide behind the portion of the lamp attached to the house, there was a web. Wolf Speedras don't do webs, m'ok? Thundra then figured out it was a grass speedra... a grass speedra which is more afraid of humans than this human is afraid of it.

These spiders are docile and non-aggressive. They will flee at the first sign of a threat and will not bite unless they feel threatened without an option to escape. (e.g. - Trying to pick the spider up).

Thundra suspected I would not be trying to pick it up. He was, and is, correct. 

Reading further, I read that this one was most likely a female as they tend to stay on the web... males on the other hand "...spend most of their adult life wandering in search of a mate. Shortly after mating, the male often dies." 

Heh! Sucks to suck!

And speaking of speedras in search of luv... I'm really glad I don't live in CA right now!

This song springs to mind... :)

WRONG! WRONG! WRONG!

Pinko?? Delicious or Disgusting??

Perhaps they'd be better if they were encased in a hard candy shell... or, served between two slabs o' shicken (it's how the boy, whom I babysat for long ago, said it. "I want shicken and sheese!") Maybe if it was Gummi Pork Rectum. Rectum??? Damn near killed 'em! I digress... All I know is, my lamblets owe Uncle Pinko (a stranger who buys them candy) a DoD... in the meantime... discuss!

No discussing "bone-in rectums" allowed

struth...

This calls for a repeat of this...

Canadian Shame

Why should the USA be alone in hanging its head in shame? Hmmm? Our neighbors to the north have their own reasons... wrapped in scary, pelvic-thrusting, saggy pleather. Enjoying that smoothie NOW, Laura?? Hmmm???

This blog is over its limit for pleather postings... if it disappears, oh well...

 

Morning dreams and earworms...

Woke up... fell back asleep... had a bizarre dream about being on vacation, but had to switch hotel rooms because our one room was possessed. We left so fast, I left my bag and a $900 in cash... I wanted to go back in to get it, but the door would not open more than 3 inches, and when I even got it that far, all I saw was pitch black darkness, and heard something growl.  I stopped at the hotel chapel... the priest suggested I have friends go in to retrieve the money, but I was not supposed to.

Next... in our new room, I am attacked by spiders and dragonflies, but realize they are wooden, robotic creatures that are also tiny Christmas ornaments, and when I take a closer look, see there is printing on their sides that says "Thank you for visiting!" and gives the name of the hotel...

Grizzled's response to this dream?

"You're a strange woman... and you're obviously afraid of money! GO GET THE MONEY!"

Playing all during the dream?? And stuck in my head all morning??

The darkest hour is just before dawn...

We stayed in a number of different places while on the road. Some were chosen in advance... some were merely chosen by where we wanted to go that day or when we wanted to stop. One thing did not change... when we got there, Grizzled let me decide which side of the bed I was sleeping on.

Grizzled and I have been sharing beds for over 2 decades now. He said he used to think I always chose the same side, no matter the room, but he soon learned that was wrong. He then said he thought it was the side farthest away from the door, but that wasn't right either. He then realized it was safest to just let me pick... my picking being done the minute I walk in. I sense the side I want and plop my stuff down. I have been known to switch sides during a visit though if the room doesn't feel right, even though I know switching sides won't necessarily help. Sometimes the bed is just off.

We stayed in one of these rooms while on the road. It did not feel good to me and neither did the bed. I woke up in the middle of the night, certain something was in front of me. I could feel it. If I opened my eyes, I'd see it and I didn't want to. I also knew I had a chair next to my side of the bed and had put a bunch of my stuff in it so that was probably it. I opened my eyes and sure enough, saw a large, dark mass. I reached out, felt one of my bags and then something else that didn't feel familiar. I jumped and made some panicked noise.  I snatched my hand back in as fast as I could, pulled up the covers even though it was hot, and inched over to Grizzled's side... slowly enough that he wouldn't realize he only had 5 inches on which to sleep... and then I waited... it was a long night.

I'm not afraid of a lot, but my senses/imagination can have their way with me in the dark. Maybe it was too many horror movies as a kid... one too many scary novels, or camping out with friends and trying to scare the bejesus out of each other... or my brothers, who liked to torment like only brothers can... I like to be scared, but when I choose. I don't like to be afraid at night, which is why I'm glad I don't have to sleep alone... even when I was alone, I still had a dog. 

I remember when I was much younger and my grandmother was still alive and living by herself, I would ask her if she was afraid at night, wasn't she tempted to sleep with a light on... somewhere?? (She had a creepy basement with dirt walls... and a scary attic... those two places would immediately pop into my mind if I was staying overnight at her otherwise wonderful house....) She said she grew up with no electricity so darkness did not bother her. She also had the Lord to look over her... Well, Grandma's Lord gave me a wicked imagination that likes to mess with me... so again, I am glad I don't have to sleep alone. I am also glad I have someone who can sleep anywhere... and doesn't mind that I need to pick my side of the bed... or who doesn't mind when I leave him only 5 inches to sleep on because I am sure that something out of Grandma's basement is sitting next to my side.

The sinister wooly bison still haunts me... and it was in our hotel room that night... I know it.

Ahem Pinko... Skittles Edition...

No... do not want... will not try! However, I'm guessing Von might. She LOVES flavored vodka!