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Around this time of year, Grizzled receives various goodies from business people. Some come to the house, some he brings home from work, some never make it home from work... the liquid variety is usually kept there to placate his staff and calm his ever-at-the-ready explaining voice.
One that also doesn't often make it home are the Carol's Cookies. We hope, we cross our fingers... we hope Grizzled will get out of the building with the tin still sealed, but more than not, he doesn't... which has led me to ordering them for ourselves... just one tin with the most popular varieties in it. I want to say it holds a dozen.
I know what you're thinking, 12 cookies is not a huge tin, but these cookies are different. These cookies weigh in at 8oz per cookie. Yes, half a pound of cookie. No one ever takes one thinking they'll eat the whole thing. No, you start by breaking off a third and think you can't even possibly finish that, and then somewhere later in the day, you seem to remember a remnant of a cookie that was left, and think you'll go back to break off just one or two more bites, but all you see is a napkin and crumbs. Somehow, you've eaten the whole cookie... suddenly sampling a second one doesn't sound like a bad idea. Yeah, they're rich. Yeah, you know they're loaded with butter, but it's a cookie! Just a cookie!!
The other day, I was going to order some to send to someone else and thought I'd get us a tin as well, as none had shown up yet, and I was pretty sure the office wolves would make sure they didn't. For some reason that day I decided to see if there was any nutritional info on them... apparently the survival instinct is strong and on some level, my bod knew these would kill us... I googled for info.
And what did I find???
First of all, Carol's site says it has limited info on her cookies... and now I know why... I found this info elsewhere:
8 oz. cookie, 1109, 57g, 145g, 12g
Yeah, you read that right... 1109 calories... and 57g of fat! Holy crap! And I thought an 80 calorie Double Stuff Oreo was bad (Be quiet those of you who say you can easily eat 10 Oreos)... Of course you can't eat one and not know you're eating a stick of butter, held together with sugar, some flour and a few nuts and chocolate bits, but still... it's just a cookie! A cookie that no doubt has an entire STICK OF BUTTER IN IT!
They are oh-so good. They're better than good. You want to rub them behind your ears and dance with them. You want to buy them pretty things. But I will not. I will not even be buying them. Not even once a year. I can't. I can't go back to blissful ignorance, and I'm sad.
Oh my Lord!!!!
This is as bad as the time I googled movie theater popcorn!
Errrrmmm....
Ummmm...
12grams of Protein is good though.. non?
Imagine if you ate all 12 in one day? (not that *I* would ever think of doing something like that!)
((Hugs))
Laura
Posted by: Laura | December 15, 2011 at 05:44 PM
Ah hah! Is is a point-counterpoint to fish's TJ post at Delish or Disgusting?
It is surprising, all the cookie and cake blogging that is occurring. I don't get it...
~
Posted by: ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© | December 15, 2011 at 05:49 PM
I typically bring a couple of boxes of clementines into the office. Delicious, and guilt-free.
Posted by: Big Bad Bald Bastard | December 15, 2011 at 06:05 PM
You're making us feel guilty, B^4.
~
Posted by: ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© | December 15, 2011 at 06:06 PM
I hate BBBB.
Posted by: fish | December 15, 2011 at 06:08 PM
I don't know what fish is up to, thundra. I merely wrote about cookies cuz it's that time of year.
Posted by: Jennifer | December 15, 2011 at 06:21 PM
SMUT HUNGRY NOW
Posted by: herr doktor bimler | December 15, 2011 at 07:32 PM
What the hell is Big B going on about?
Friggin clementines... pfft.. as if! ;p
((Hugs))
Laura
Posted by: Laura | December 15, 2011 at 07:47 PM
1000 calorie cookie bombs. The Pentagon is interested.
Posted by: fish | December 16, 2011 at 08:05 AM
I really wish I hadn't read this. There are a few places around us that sell those, and I have definitely eaten a few by myself. No wonder I started hallucinating that Claus Von Bulow was talking to me about insulin injections.
Posted by: Brando | December 16, 2011 at 08:57 AM
I really wish I hadn't read this.
I'm sorry!!! I know your pain... and I've had Claus visit me as well when on a Carol bender. :(
But, as Laura said, let's focus on the protein!!!!
Posted by: Jennifer | December 16, 2011 at 09:29 AM
There are a few places around us that sell those
Not to mention the fact that you're right by the freakin' mothership!
You know, one good side effect of this knowledge?? Everything else sounds tame!
"Hey! This lard/bacon/foie gras amuse bouche only has 700 calories in it!!"
Posted by: Jennifer | December 16, 2011 at 09:36 AM
One of those places is our favorite pizza place. So not only have we been sausageboarded by deep-dish pizza, but then have washed it down with a Carol's Cookie that we split. That's the end of that.
Posted by: Brando | December 16, 2011 at 10:54 AM
I love deep dish pizza.
I love cookies.
I love Brando and Jennifer and TLB.
I see an event forming here......
Posted by: Von | December 16, 2011 at 12:37 PM
our favorite deep dish pizza place burned down a couple of years ago. It has left a yawning void in my life.
Some days, it seems pointless even getting out of bed, knowing that there isn't a possibility of getting a Pizza Man deep dish today....
Posted by: zombie rotten mcdonald | December 16, 2011 at 01:21 PM
Youse and yur deep dishes. I like the thin delicious crust, such as you might find in New York and New Haven.
~
Posted by: ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© | December 16, 2011 at 04:58 PM
There's a place for thin crust, it's true....but the Deep Dish sometimes it what it takes.
Posted by: zombie rotten mcdonald | December 16, 2011 at 05:03 PM
thundra- regarding pizza... you need to read this comment thread...
Of course, as Grizzled often says (as do others, I'm sure), pizza is like sex... even the bad stuff is pretty good.
Posted by: Jennifer | December 16, 2011 at 05:08 PM
I just left the first comment in over 4 1/2 years on that beegee thread, Jennifer.
~
Posted by: ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© | December 16, 2011 at 05:53 PM
Yay!! That thread should live on!!
And... I'll say it again, your pizza is merely a coaster for our pop! :-P
Posted by: Jennifer | December 16, 2011 at 05:57 PM
pizza is like sex
Yet we are NOT ALLOWED TO FILTHBOT.
Posted by: herr doktor bimler | December 16, 2011 at 08:15 PM
I was merely quoting my husband. :)
Posted by: Jennifer | December 16, 2011 at 08:45 PM
So if I merely quote the Frau Doktorin on the difficulties of combining pizza with a ballgag, that is OK?
Posted by: herr doktor bimler | December 16, 2011 at 09:43 PM
Whatever you want to do on Riddled is fine with me.
Posted by: Jennifer | December 16, 2011 at 09:58 PM
Of course, as Grizzled often says (as do others, I'm sure), pizza is like sex... even the bad stuff is pretty good.
Don't let Herman Cain hear you- he's a purveyor of bad pizza and bad sex.
Posted by: Big Bad Bald Bastard | December 17, 2011 at 05:47 AM
"even the bad stuff is pretty good."
The Robotics team I mentor for meets from 4:30 to 6:30, being a bunch of Squirmy Kids, they are running low on fuel, so the head mentor usually gets them a couple of Little Caesar's zas to eat, because they are nearby and cheap.
Holy hell, I am so sick of Little Caesar's pizza.
Of course, I have never had Godfather's, but at least it would be a change.
Posted by: Zombie rotten mcdonald | December 17, 2011 at 08:19 AM
"Whatever you want to do on Riddled is fine with me."
Not me. It gives me bad dreams. And indigestion.
Posted by: Zombie rotten mcdonald | December 17, 2011 at 08:21 AM
Blue girl is having quite an infestation of porn spambots these days.
Posted by: Zombie rotten mcdonald | December 17, 2011 at 08:31 AM
Don't let Herman Cain hear you- he's a purveyor of bad pizza and bad sex.
LOL! Good point.
Holy hell, I am so sick of Little Caesar's pizza.
No doubt! Little Caesar's should only be eaten once a year! You think, hey... this isn't that bad... and it's cheap! And then you move on.
I haven't had Godfather's pizza since college, but I do remember it being REALLY GREASY! A friend called it "Greasa" or "Greasza".
Blue girl is having quite an infestation of porn spambots these days.
The spambots have been ruthless on TypePad for a few weeks. I have at least 5 new ones every morning. Most have been cheap drugs or shopping lately, but the sleeze ones were rampant a couple of weeks ago.
Posted by: Jennifer | December 17, 2011 at 08:40 AM
The Skimmer just brought home eggnog but NO BOURBON. And I asked him what he thought the point of that was? All we'd get then would be the fat with nothing to allow us to ignore the fat.
Then I read him your Cookie Bomb stats.
If you drank enough bourbon maybe you could order the Cookie Bombs!
Posted by: blue girl | December 17, 2011 at 12:48 PM
Blue girl is having quite an infestation of porn spambots these days.
I know. And I've been bad about even taking the time to delete them. What I love about them especially is the way the comments refer to me specifically as "BG". That's a special touch!
Posted by: blue girl | December 17, 2011 at 12:50 PM
BREAKING NEWS: The Skimmer's heading out for bourbon.
Posted by: blue girl | December 17, 2011 at 12:51 PM
YAY!!!
Posted by: Jennifer | December 17, 2011 at 01:02 PM
Let the denial begin!
Ho Ho Ho! (non-porn spambot comment)
Posted by: blue girl | December 17, 2011 at 02:04 PM
Sounds like a plan!
Posted by: Jennifer | December 17, 2011 at 02:07 PM
BREAKING NEWS: The Skimmer's heading out for bourbon.
Good for him. Is he bringing some back, too?
If e does, I recommend discarding the Nog. Why dilute the booze?
Posted by: zombie rotten mcdonald | December 17, 2011 at 03:08 PM
Why dilute the booze?
Cuz bourbon tastes like medicine.
(She typed, misspelling *tastes* four times before she getting it right because she's had a bit of bourbon that doesn't taste like medicine but more like a bit of spice in an eggnog milkshake)
Posted by: blue girl | December 17, 2011 at 03:43 PM
I love Knob Creek on ice.
I do remember my grandmother mixing a small bit of bourbon with honey and lemon and then heating it. She'd give us a little if our throats were sore, or we had a cough. Mmmmm.
Posted by: Jennifer | December 17, 2011 at 03:47 PM
Just deleted that spam. Dear Lord, those were some bad ones.
Jennifer, I need a webmaster!
Posted by: blue girl | December 17, 2011 at 03:48 PM
I think I know where you can find one... :)
Posted by: Jennifer | December 17, 2011 at 03:50 PM
Cough, Jennifer.
cough cough.
Posted by: zombie rotten mcdonald | December 17, 2011 at 03:51 PM
Yeah, the TypePad spammers have been out in force lately. I was looking at my dashboard one day and saw that I had 40 followers I don't know! They're pain in the ass spammers who have linked to me as an easy target I suppose... but still, I'd rather be open to all comments and just deal with the clean-up, as opposed to being a paranoid, hard-ass who makes people show their valid ID's before commenting.
Posted by: Jennifer | December 17, 2011 at 03:52 PM
Cough, Jennifer.
cough cough.
I suspect you'll be leaving out the honey and lemon. :)
Posted by: Jennifer | December 17, 2011 at 03:52 PM
I was going to write that I'm not really a hard liquor fan but then I remembered I love martinis so never mind.
Posted by: blue girl | December 17, 2011 at 04:06 PM
Yeah, it's not really that hard to open up Typepad and hit delete a few times.
I understand why porn sites would spam us -- what I don't get is when a well known brand spams. Like Ugg Boots. Major spammers. Not good for the brand.
Posted by: blue girl | December 17, 2011 at 04:09 PM
I used to love gin martinis, but gin doesn't like me. I don't drink hard liquor much at all... Even a little and I feel it the next day. It's not worth it.
Posted by: Jennifer | December 17, 2011 at 04:19 PM
All alcohol is simply a way to get, er, alcohol in yourself, he typed wisely.
Posted by: Substance McGravitas | December 17, 2011 at 05:26 PM
I don't drink hard liquor much at all.
More for zombies!
Posted by: zombie rotten mcdonald | December 17, 2011 at 06:03 PM
All alcohol is simply a way to get, er, alcohol in yourself, he typed wisely.
I know I am going to expose myself to all kinds of hatred for this, but sometimes, the process and contributing elements help to make it a higher level of pleasurable.
Posted by: zombie rotten mcdonald | December 17, 2011 at 06:06 PM
You could just inject it with a syringe if that was all there was to it.
Some kind of drinks are better than others, same with beers...
~
Posted by: ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© | December 17, 2011 at 11:02 PM
Blue girl is having quite an infestation of porn spambots these days.
Otherwise known as my base.
Posted by: fish | December 19, 2011 at 09:04 AM
Youse and yur deep dishes. I like the thin delicious crust, such as you might find in New York and New Haven.
Thudner is wise beyond his years.
Posted by: fish | December 19, 2011 at 09:04 AM
New Haven? Is that a town in the REAL world?
Posted by: zombie rotten mcdonald | December 19, 2011 at 09:20 AM
Yeah... the REAL world... which for these two, means it's by an ocean. Pffft.
Posted by: Jennifer | December 19, 2011 at 09:24 AM
In the coming apocalypse, they will WISH they were near a large body of fresh water....but we won't let them have any, will we Jennifer?
Posted by: zombie rotten mcdonald | December 19, 2011 at 09:35 AM
Hell. To. The. No.
Posted by: Jennifer | December 19, 2011 at 09:40 AM
I understand there will be people who are tempted to allow fish just a LITTLE bit of fresh water, in frozen form, as he lies on the cubes in the freezer, but I find that sort of treatment of friend fish to be somewhat repellent and will turn my head daintily away if someone does that.
Posted by: zombie rotten mcdonald | December 19, 2011 at 09:42 AM
Yeah... the REAL world... which for these two, means it's by an ocean
As those ocean levels rise 20 feet or so, that might be a moving target.
Of course, that's why all the Republicans own 3 or 8 houses...they can move to avoid the fishpocalypse.
Posted by: zombie rotten mcdonald | December 19, 2011 at 09:44 AM
You'd think that a freshwater fish, such as fish, would be a little less in love with the ocean, but apparently he's a self-saboteur.
As for Thudner.. he did move inland... but he will have to atone for his thin crust elitist ways before we let him touch those Great Lakes.
Posted by: Jennifer | December 19, 2011 at 09:50 AM
dammit, now I REALLY want Chicago style deep dish. Does Gino's deliver to Wisconsin?
Posted by: zombie rotten mcdonald | December 19, 2011 at 10:00 AM
They do frozen mail-order, but I have no idea how it translates to having one cooked on the spot.
Posted by: Jennifer | December 19, 2011 at 10:10 AM
Well, I would say a Delish or Disgust is in order, but since I can't even COMMENT there, I doubt I could do a post.
Posted by: zombie rotten mcdonald | December 19, 2011 at 10:28 AM
I don't believe BBBB's Clementine story for one FAT second!!
Posted by: Miss Jane | December 19, 2011 at 09:59 PM