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A brief follow up on this post... let me just say now that no one EVER needs to pop one of these into their gullet.
EVER!!
There is fun nasty and then there is just nasty and these... were nasty.
Grizzled, being the manly man he is, went first and popped a turkey gumball into his mouth. I don't think I've ever seen Grizzled look like that before, not even when one of the baby lamblets inadvertently puked in his mouth. But, manly man that he is, he kept chewing.
It was a trap. I went next.
I got through 1 1/2 chews before spitting my turkey gumball into the sink. I would eat dog food before trying one of these again. It was a faux-bird flavor combined with the sweetness of a gumball. Even as I type, I think that combo could work! This did not. Take the worst you could imagine and just extrapolate from there. It still wouldn't touch it.
The lamblets tried the cranberry and pumpkin gumballs and said both tasted kind of like an orange. Maybe it's because they were orange. They were also nasty.
Next on the list was the effervescent bacon tablets. Having done many a truth or dare in my childhood days, I thought this would be no match for me. I was even ready to make a "Snag" as Pinko suggested and mix it with bourbon. I didn't even get past taking a sniff. I refused to touch them. Imagine liquid smoke poured onto an Alka-Seltzer... maybe add in a turkey gumball... that's what it smelled like. I don't like liquid smoke. I'm guessing I'd hate fizzy liquid smoke. The tablets have remained on top of the microwave, untouched... waiting for an unsuspecting person to get them in their pocket.
I had held out hope that somehow, even though these things would no doubt be nasty, they might be good nasty. I was wrong. They were just bad... bad, evil badness, wrapped in dog food, covered with more evily badness. If anyone wants to try what remains, which is nearly all of them... drop me an address. Hell could be at your home in a matter of days.
Sounds like the perfect white elephant gift?
No?
Posted by: Von | December 01, 2010 at 11:25 AM
That means Grizzled gets to taste "The Snag"
COME ON!
Posted by: Pinko Punko | December 01, 2010 at 12:22 PM
Von- good idea... or possible goody bag items. :)
PP- I love Grizzled and although he is tortured by me, probably on a daily basis, I'm not sure I could do that... even if I was angry and fed up with an unexpected explaining voice barrage. He's a good sport though, I'll suggest it to him. We'll see. I don't want to be anywhere around when this happens because I know I'll smell the Liquid Smoke and then I'll hurl.
Posted by: Jennifer | December 01, 2010 at 12:26 PM
They might be useful for keeping cats or racoons off your lawn.
Posted by: Another Kiwi | December 01, 2010 at 06:53 PM
Good point! I may have to scatter some to see if anything happens to them. We do have a skunk lurking in the backyard. These smell worse than the skunk. Would he love them or hate them??
Posted by: Jennifer | December 01, 2010 at 08:51 PM
Make sure you save some for Pinko.
Posted by: zombie rotten mcdonald | December 02, 2010 at 12:30 PM
Duh! Of course! And I have his address... :) Sounds like the perfect payback for Choco Skittles, Blueberry Whoppers, 3Bradio, etc, etc, etc.
Posted by: Jennifer | December 02, 2010 at 12:33 PM
3Bray-dio was pretty good to me the other night.
I mean, as far as i recall.
Posted by: zombie rotten mcdonald | December 02, 2010 at 03:49 PM
You could have been listening to static and enjoyed it! Actually, static might be nicer.
Posted by: Jennifer | December 02, 2010 at 03:51 PM
I am dying laughing.
I don't think I've ever seen Grizzled look like that before, not even when one of the baby lamblets inadvertently puked in his mouth.
Posted by: Kathleen | December 03, 2010 at 03:48 PM