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About a week back, I mentioned a recurring fantasy of mine... taking approximately 6 weeks off and then coming back, with no time having passed, but me, having all the benefits of 6 weeks off. In the comments, Karla asked why this had to happen outside of the normal framework of time... why couldn't I just take 6 weeks off in real time. Well, she knows why I can't take 6 weeks off, but even if I could, it still wouldn't be the same.
There are days when time is going so fast, when things are changing at breakneck speed, that I feel like I can't catch my mental breath. I can't hold onto a thought that will act as a ballast in a rough sea of change. I think what I want, maybe even more than catching up on my reading, my unfinished projects, my sleep... is to just have my head catch up with my life. If I slow down enough to catch my mental breath and have my thoughts become fully anchored in my head, I'll snap out of this calm to find that life has once again sped on without me. My children will still be growing and changing, my parents will still be aging, needed permission forms will not be filled out, weeds will have once again conquered the garden and beloved projects will be inching ever closer to becoming moot... and I'll still need to be running, wondering what it was that I was thinking two minutes ago that gave me such peace and balance only to find I am once again behind.
My mind feels like a rumpled bedspread, all twisted and tied up with sheets. I want to be able to pick it up by the corners and snap it out and let it slowly settle back into place... but I know it will only be temporary. I'm going to have to crawl back in there and the jumble will continue...
Yup, it only works if no time passes...
Posted by: fish | April 27, 2009 at 10:04 AM
When I feel this way, I always fantasize about taking a yoga class. Seems like that would be a time that you could clear your head out.
Have I ever done it? No. But, I should. Have you ever tried it? Six weeks compacted into one yoga session? Maybe that would work.
Posted by: blue girl | April 27, 2009 at 05:10 PM
BG- I actually do yoga, but I'm not getting the 6 week break I could use. :( Maybe I just need to do 6 weeks straight of yoga and then I'll be in traction and I won't care because I'll be all doped up.
I must say though that a really good sweat does wonders for purging the crankies and bringing on a mellow, but it's not lasting. I need lasting. I'm tired of feeling like a push me-pull you. Grrrrrr. :)
Posted by: Jennifer | April 27, 2009 at 05:22 PM
Breaking boards. focus, exercise, destruction.... it covers a lot of needs.
Posted by: zombie rotten mcdonald | April 27, 2009 at 06:12 PM
I knew the Taekwondozombie would show up.
Posted by: Jennifer | April 27, 2009 at 06:29 PM
Perhaps my favorite Jennifer quote of all time, "My mind feels like a rumpled bedspread." What a wonderful image.
Posted by: R.D. Ray | April 27, 2009 at 06:41 PM
I'm looking for a prescription for that sort of brain activity.
Posted by: Righteous Bubba | April 27, 2009 at 07:49 PM
Here's hoping you get just a few days this summer when you can sit in the sun and do nothing. After a winter like this, even that will help.
Posted by: Snag | April 27, 2009 at 08:59 PM
I knew the Taekwondozombie would show up.
well, xtranormal was down.
Posted by: zombie rotten mcdonald | April 27, 2009 at 10:55 PM