I Dare YOU!!!! (aka Contest)

Because I'm feeling rather depressed... I know, it was just carpeting, but it was new carpeting. It was one thing I had crossed off my list and now have to deal with again and insurance won't help...

Hey! Get back here! I'm not asking for moolah. I'm not asking for manual labor. I'm merely asking for a laugh.

Yes... that's it. A laugh. Because, as I said, I'm feeling rather depressed. I know, there's more going on in the world than my flooded basement, but still... the past 4 days have sucked and I need a laugh.

I need a side-splitting laugh. I need a "spit coffee out on your computer" laugh. I need a "can't make it to the bathroom" laugh. I need a "laughing like a snorting donkey" laugh. I need a "scare your husband with why he married you" laugh.

So? Can you do it? Can you tell me something that will make me forget that Mother Nature has decided she's the boss of me? Can you relate an incident that will make me forget that even though I may be able to afford some form of replacement flooring, the way the financial markets are going, I may not be able to tomorrow?

Can you make me laugh so hard I shake years of aging off of this tired bod? Hmmmm??? Are you up to the task? You do it most every other day. How about NOW?!?!?! Hmmm? Hmmm???

Pleeeeeeze? If not, Grizzled and I could use some help hauling some really wet carpet out of the basement.

Those who complete the task of making me laugh so hard that I forget for a total of 7 seconds will receive a prize. No... it won't be saturated carpet. Geeesh!

Now come on... make me laugh!

Comments

[mdh]

I just read this somewhere else -
---
In Jerusalem, a journalist heard about an old Jewish man who had been going to the Wailing Wall to pray, twice a day, everyday, for a long time. Having a slow news day, she decided to check it out. She went to the Wailing Wall and there he was! She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave, she approached him for an interview. "Hello, I'm Rebecca Smith from CNN. Sir, how long have you been coming to the Wall to pray?"

"For about 60 years."

"60 years! That's amazing! What do you pray for?"

"I pray for peace between Christians, Jews and Muslims. I pray for all the hatred to stop and I pray for all our children to grow up in safety and friendship."

"How do you feel after 60 years of praying for peace?"

"Like I'm talking to a fucking wall.”

---
Also, though I may earn Chucles' wrath for linking to one of his fave comics - this also made me laugh.

[rotten mcdonald]

Shit, I'm better off offering to help you carry wet stinky carpeting.... Call Brando for the funny, my department is construction....

Ok, how about this:

There once was an inspector named Spruce
whose knowledge of codes was no use
he took it out on designers
whose work he felt he could do finer,
And eventually had to be shot in the caboose

sorry.

[Jennifer]

Ok, we've got people up on the scoreboard!

Bring on the wrath of Chuckles!

[Kathleen in Oakland]

how about this?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WhwbxEfy7fg

An easy choice, yes; but possibly far enough in the past that it can make you laugh like the first time, all over again!

[Kathleen in Oakland]

ok don't play this one with the lamblets around, but I guarantee at least a giggle

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoRD1wmvwUc

[Kathleen in Oakland]

sad. I didn't embed the links.

ok here is the last one. [NSFL] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoRD1wmvwUc

[rotten mcdonald]

OK, I would say more but I've got to get out of here to buy more rum.

[mdh]

and this guy is everything Jackass isn't. Yeah, he's a prick, but damn he's good.

[Willow]

I love "Singing in the Rain"! It will make you laugh if nothing else will. Especially the "Moses Supposes" song!! Your donkey snorting laugh made me laugh.

The funniest thing that happened to me today was when I was black boxing and feeling a tad guilty, I chose "grime" and then landed on my own blog. The point was well taken!

[fish]

Help is on the way.

[Snag]

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi walk into a bar.

The bartender looks up and says, "What is this, some kind of a joke?"

[rotten mcdonald]

Is it just me, or is Snag apparently kind of... WASHED OUT.... after his recent run at national office?

Ok, it's just me. Again. Of course.

[Jennifer]

Oh. My. Gawd.

Remind me not to check comments in middle of the night. I'm awake now... but I am laughing!

[Snag]

I'm better when I can work blue.

[Brando]

You know, whenever anyone says "be funny," I freeze like a goddamned deer in Snag's headlight deer jerky trap. So I will have to outsource to a source of very black inspiration: The Perry Bible Fellowship comics.

This one is awesome:
Monkey Photographer

I am sorry to hear about your carpet.

[Miss Jane]

Sorry to hear your apple cart has tipped over :-(
Bostworld has a post up that won't bring donkey snorters to the table... yet is good for a few smiles and maybe even a laugh or two... Something to entertain yourself with and take your mind out of the basement for a while

[Mendacious D]

Pasickie!.

[Kathleen in Oakland]

MenD, you were preceded.

But it jsut made me laugh twice!

[Dan Leo]

How about a little "Springtime for Hitler"?

[Kathleen in Oakland]

Always Look on the Bright Side?

[Mendacious D]

Okay, fine. I consider the 35th through 40th seconds of this to be the funniest four lines in comedy. The rest of the skit isn't bad either.

Also, fish will be pleased with this selection, which grinds my teeth to no end.

[mdh]

Ever seen the IT Crowd?

anti-piracy ad

Gay, the musical

FIRE!

Best british comedy since Fawlty Towers.

[mdh]

oh, before you watch the FIRE clip, you must watch this one or it's only 1/3 the funny.

Emergency Services

[almostinfamous]

FAILblog is always worth a try

[almostinfamous]

also, snooty white people being funny

[mdh]

I was inspired by your limerick, for reasons unclear, to look at the wikipedia page on Limericks.

And i found this, which made me laugh so hard, also for reasons unclear.

There was an old man of St. Bees,
Who was stung in the arm by a wasp;

When they asked, "Does it hurt?"
He replied, "No, it doesn't,

But I thought all the while 'twas a Hornet.

[Jennifer]

Don't get me started on the limericks again, mdh!! I needed an intervention to stop the last time.

[Annalise Johnnie]

Ahhh. Well, as the quote says, "Laughter is the best medicine." It's good to laugh because it can release stress and negative emotions. What happened to your basement, btw? I hope everything is alright now.