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January 04, 2008

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I AM THE WORLD'S LARGEST ELK AND SHALL STOMP ON ANY MEESE WHETHER COOKIE OR MEAT. ALL SHALL LOVE ME AND DESPAIR

*BOOP*

Hola, mi nombre es Moose. Team Chicago reglas!

Here I was all ready to type out a long sentence one word at a time and my comment got flagged as spam. I would have gotten away with it if it hadn't been for you meddling kids!

Les orignaux sont frais. L'équipe Chicago est aussi.

My, don't you look lovely today?!?!?!

Wie geht's? Team Chicago ist eins!!!

STOORN is not SPAM!

I will paint you a moose if Team Chicago wins.

Oh, and can we find out what our scores were?

Whatever you do, don't let Three Bulls! win- their victory will vanquish me!!!!!

What has four legs and flies?

A Moose-quito!

Knock! Knock!

Who's there?

Moose.

Moose who?

Moose be time for another joke!

What do Alaskans celebrate every December?

Chris-Moose!

What holiday plant do Alaskans kiss under?

Moosel-toe!

Who is the "Father of the North Country"?

George Moosington.

Cookie Closing Ceremonies

I think BG was the one person who laughed at Welcome to Mooseport.

Shannon- I don't know if you guys get the actual numbers. I never saw mine. I'll ask BG, first winner and judge from last year.

Also- while making me spit out coffee is to be rewarded, making me pee will not be!!!

The UN approach of Team Chicago was appreciated.

I just realized... if I follow my own rules, I can win AGAIN!!! Moose be time for another comment!

What do you call a sleeping male moose?

A bull-dozer!

Knock! Knock!

Who's there?

Moose.

Moose who?

Moose be time for another joke!

Why do moose have such big antlers?

For better radio reception. They're moosic lovers.

This should be naughty enough for Jennifer:

Q: How can you tell if a guy like Moosehead beer?
A: By the antler marks on his thighs.

Also, what's a moose's favourite 50's pinup girl?
Elke Sommer.

J'ai vaincu!

Naughty enough?? I seem to have gotten a bad rap....

And I even knew who Elke Sommer was without the help of Wikipedia, but extra points for the pun.

However... you've overcome nothing Mr. MenD!!!

AG takes one vacation since like November and the world fall's apart?

There will be no winners until 15 January or after. RoD rules. We just roll that way.

We also have Plover's entry. Shore bird had dinner with AG the other night and pictures and tastings were done. Monkey Boy: Game on. (K-unit, did you get UC's message?!! I am sooo sad and you get a whole day when I come out for Blogher. AG feels soooo bad!!)

Has Midniter's or Chuckles come yet?!! God dammit.

AG wants to win a prize. Can I ban Billy Pilgrim and eat a chili dog and win? Speaking of which, BP we had chili in San Fran!!!!

I got the message AG, and it's totally cool! I am just glad you guys got out last night, because SFO is CRAZY today!

I was actually leaving SF when I got the message and then my phone died after I heard "We're at Mel's Diner" which is of course so easy for me to get to, so then I felt bad. But I was relieved to get home a listen to the rest! And now I have UC's voice saved on my cell phone!!!

Top that SINK LETTUCE!!

Looking forward to Blogher adventures AG. :)

There's this guy, Wayne, from Maine that my friends kids like who tells of the day the moose got loose... In Moosachusetts.

oh AG I just read your post about the flight home! I can't comment at ROD, but I am so sorry! That suxxors.

I have had Team Chicago shortbread, and it is DELICIOUS. It's like a tiny Second Coming of Jesus on your taste buds.

I'm dead and buried but I still would like to win something.

Look at that, I've got a page to myself.

The Atlas Building, where the Project Runway contestants used to stay before this season, has a big black and white artsy (fuzzy) picture of the plumber's crack of a model at the end of the hall with the elevators on the first floor. Someone I know got a pic of it. Someone I know actually keeps thinking it may be a model pic from the 70s of Catherine Deneuve, but someone I know is probably wrong. Since you're all over Project Runway, someone I know thought you'd vaguely be interested, and that a fun place to eat just a few doors down is the P.S. Diner. Someone I know got a photo of part of the interior of that too.

The cold water in the Atlas Building comes out of the taps HOT. Never seen anything like it. Someone I know nearly scalded herself and yelped.

The Atlas Building is touted as being luxury apartments, and they sure are a good large size for New York apartments, but it seems for being as new as they are there shouldn't be cracks in the walls and in the caulking around the bathtub. But I guess that just comes with a building that size...settling.

Tons of closet space.

The view from up high is, admittedly, awesome.

Parking is $68 a night. Someone I know left their car parked on the street in Queens for a week.

The Atlas Building is surrounded by wholesale shops with really cheap looking goods in their windows. Like not-so-quality primo-vivid prom dresses Minnie Mouse's wayward great great granddaughter would be caught dead in chugging Hawaiian punch vodka martinis in a rented limo behind the McDonalds where her boyfriend works. Someone I know has never watched Project Runway and doesn't know if daily passing by these dresses may have served as inspiration.

Lookie there, I've still got a page to myself. Whoo-whoo! Party.
Gonna party.
Ain't gonna win a thing.
But gonna party on this page by myself.
Gotta free license to party.
Comment all you want, she said.
Comment away.

Why do I feel like I've just opened a fresh box of spanking white Kleenex and am blowing my nose all over the place.

Party.

I was half baked once... does that count for the Crown????

And I STILL have this page all to my self! Wow!

Hmmm. Feel like I'm on a trip and am staying at someone else's apartment (as someone I know recently did) and feeling pretty cozy at home despite it being someone else's apartment because so freaking much is being paid to stay there...so I take the pics of the kids and wife down and stack them in a corner so I don't have to look at their smiling faces, and I spread, really spread my crap all over the place and raid a Cola from the frig. Pop it open. And, as I stand gazing out over 5th Avenue, I think of

no impact man

Oh, crap. I no longer have the page to myself. That's what I get for getting caught up in conversation about tabouli instead of punching the post button.

Tabouli, look at that, Mary Jane crashed my hinterland second page solo comment carte blanche party.

I did not buy any of these candies that adorn me. I did not make any of them. They were all donated to me so that I would not take from the earth. I could have used that Ikea Gingerbread House though, but alas, it was THROWN AWAY!!! :(

It's like an all you can eat buffet comment wall.

If TEAM CHICAGO doesn't win, the terrorists have won.

Think of the children!

JewBen?!!

AG needs some 411 here.

NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Frick K-unit! If we knew about the delay -- we'd have cabbed it to Oakland.

We owe you. And you gotta love UC's sexy femme voice!!

JewBen?!!

AG needs some 411 here.

NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Frick K-unit! If we knew about the delay -- we'd have cabbed it to Oakland.

We owe you. And you gotta love UC's sexy femme voice!!

Team Chicago is wicked awesome. I bet their shortbread is, too.

Who is Jewben?

AG needs to know.

Right now!!!!!!

I'm with AG on this one. The winner's gotta be the real winner. But just in case: moose.

Team Chicago shortbread is akin to heroin. It feels so good, is highly addictive and has to be injected into your veins.

Ok that last one was a lie but the rest are true.

Team Chicago all the way, man. For cereal. Well. For shortbread.

Team Chicago takes the cake. Well, bread.

I would like to see AG get it together and actually judge an entry once in a damn while. WTH?

I have a question.

Why is JewBen talking about Jesus coming on his tastebuds?

This blog needs an ombudsman for these difficult questions. I nominate Chuckles.

First of all, FUCKLES, AG judged in 2005 with all the stoners. A task you might know a little about from one side. So shut up!

Secondly, AG has judged and had lengthy discussions about how to judge, what to judge, etc. for 2007 over the weekend.

Third of all, you are a total corn hole! Shut up unless you actually have cookies in the game.

Fourth, BP -- I agree that an OMPP needs to be assigned by Fuckles is not the person this PA voter is selecting in the primaries.

-I am AG and I approve of this message.

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