We give you... TEAM BILLY PILGRIM/ZELMO!!

Yes, it may be Boxing Day for some of you, but for the rest of us... it's back to work and that means entry #8! This entry is comprised of one Mr. Billy Pilgrim and his enigmatic *friend*, Zelmo.

BP was late to join the bake-off. As a matter of fact, he was not going to join at all. I'm not quite sure what made him change his mind... was it AG's promise of bannage? Was it the thought that someone with worse spelling might win? Who knows. Whatever it was, somewhere towards the end of decision time, BP dove in.

BP's entry arrived in what seemed to be excellent condition. I looked forward to opening the box, still not sure if this was going to be a real entry or a joke. I half expected to find fresh Wisconsin cow pie. I did not, I found a very, very funny letter, I found cookies... cookies and a lovely CD of holiday tunes that BP had made. There was only one problem with the CD... it was cracked right in the middle. I let BP know and he was kind enough to send me another. Amazingly enough, none of the cookies were harmed. They were all in pristine shape and were ready to be tasted.

Team BP/Zelmo's entry consisted of 4 types of cookies.

First on the list was in the words of BP, "Crawford's Super-Detailed GingerySnappers, Brownish". This was the 4th or 5th or 6th variety of a gingersnap/molasses type cookie that we have gotten. I like them, but one or two is more than enough. Grizzled on the other hand, lives for these cookies. Grizzled is a ginersnap/molasses-type cookie aficionado. Let me just say, GRIZZLED LOVED THESE and called it correctly when he spoke out with crumbs yet in his mouth, "... was, mumble, crunch, crunch, made with... crunch, mumble, lard!!!" Lard gets a bum rap, but lard does bring a certain je ne sais crunchiness to a baked good. I enjoyed the GingerySnappers, but Grizzled was down on his knees praising them.

Second in the BP/Zelmo line up was Billy P's Golden Lumps (a recipe created by the Original Billy Pilgrim, the man who inspired Vonnegut in his love story, Slaughterhouse Five, who invented these when his automobile overturned in a henhouse while delivering moonshine to on-duty police officers. The fire burned for 5 days).

The Golden Lumps were interesting. They were a very soft, gentle golden cookie that looked as if it had been dusted with cinnamon. At first I thought it might be nutmeg, but I do believe it's cinnamon. They had a very subtle taste and were quite good. They were interesting. While Grizzled and the eldest lamblet thought they tasted a hint of lemon, I felt the cookie had been made with a significant amount of baking powder or cream of tartar. There was a lingering tingle left in the back of ones mouth that I don't think came from citrus, but rather came from using a lot of one of those ingredients. I did not pick up on citrus tones, so I'm sticking with the fact that the acidic buzz on the back of the palate was indeed due to the amount of baking powder or cream of tartar included in the recipe. 

Cookie #3 in the BP/Zelmo entry was "Missus Pilgrim's Slabs O Butter, Scotch, N CocoNut. BP said he was unsure how much alcohol she included, but it we were able to stand after eating more than one... let him know.

These cookies were SWEET! They were a bar cookie that was loaded with butterscotch chips and coconut. They were very delicious. Did I mention they were sweet? They were. We enjoyed these cookies, but I believe these were the cookies that AG and UC fell down to praise.

Last, but not least in the BP/Zelmo entry was Zelmos' famous Bakake cookie... no his Dukakis cookie.. no... his Kabbalah cookie. Oh hell, I can't remember its name and I can't find it. BP?? Zelmo?? If you're out there, come over and refresh this tired memory. Zelmo's cookie can be seen in the photo up top. The cookie in that image is Zelmo's cookie. It's HUGE. It includes everything. Yes, I even found one old kitchen sink. This cookie is somewhat of an enigma, just like Zelmo. I'm not quite sure what it is. It's large, it's got chocolate chips in it, both white and semisweet, and yet I would not call this cookie a chocolate chip cookie. It's got pecans in it and yet I would not call it a pecan cookie. It's got a drizzled frosting on top that includes portions of candy canes thus giving it a minty overtone and yet I would not call it a mint cookie. The body of the cookie itself is what is throwing me. I can't quite place it. I'm not sure what it is. Maybe it's the Rorschach Test of cookies. Maybe we all bring out own hopes, wishes and fears to this cookie. I do know I enjoyed mine with coffee.

Well, there you have Team BP/Zelmo! It was a very good entry. I'm also giving high points for BP getting off his lackadaisical bake-off ass and sending them. His entry was most appreciated and his tuneage will be appreciated for some time.

I must add here that BP's entry did include a warning. At the bottom of his letter, in very small print, it said:

Warning: Do not apply to forehead. Avoid strong light and weak heat. Do NOT taunt baked goods! May cause lengthening of left limbs; if profuse sweating occurs, consult a doctor. Do not operate heavy machinery or light entertainment. Maybe obstruct justice; dispose of properly. IN NO CASE allow pets or other living things to view. For external use only. Keep away from open flame and Happy Fun Ball. Baker makes no warranty, express or implied, and takes now responsibility for apocalyptic  events relating to these bakemistological items. See a therapist. Seriously.

Well, our dog did view the items... let's just leave it at that. I'm sure we'll get the paw prints off the ceiling and we never liked those neighbors anyhow... We'll also be seeking therapy after the new insurance plan kicks in in 1/08.

Comments

[blue girl]

LOL at the warning!

[billy pilgrim]

It's also worth noting that the music included used that Bowie/Bing duet to close out the set.

I figured Jennifer got the idea from us, so we're taking credit.

We'll also take credit for any Peace breaking out anywhere on this beleaguered planet, but that seems unlikely.

But a few more cookies won't hurt. Unless, they're from Snag, in which case I believe they're intended to hurt. With Love.

[billy pilgrim]

Zelmo's entry was half-baked, like him.

[Jennifer]

BP- your CD was indeed what caused me to put up that video, so credit is most definitely due you. I've always liked that duet, but had not thought of it in awhile.

I have to admit, I had forgotten how old it was, but then Der Bingle's been gone for a couple of decades now.