Saying yes...

A random holiday thought

There is that odd moment at a family gathering, whether your own or your spouse’s, when a person stands out as the unique person they are and you remember once again why you are with them.

I think no matter how much we love or get along with our family of origin, every person, on some level, at some point, feels as though they are the odd man out, the weirdo, the swan in a passel of ducks. It is often those very traits, that attract a mate.

While sitting at a large dinner table with many of Grizzled’s family members, I watched the majority of them in pack-mode, thinking their group thoughts, continuing their family patterns. One person stood out, one person made me smile, made me laugh, one person I understood. It was Grizzled. He was busy being himself, no one else was noticing, no one was reveling in his Grizzledness, but I was. We smiled at each other and I remembered again why I married the person.

No matter how well our families of origin understand us, there are still those many times when you feel you do not fit. I was his connection at this table of *strangers*, his validation, and he’s been my connection and validation at mine.

Bake-Off Entry Index

Here's a list of links for all bake-off entries received so far. Take a look, entries may have been missed in all of the holiday/vacation folderol. Going backwards in the order in which they were received:

9) Kathleen
8) Billy Pilgrim/Zelmo
7) Mendacious D
6) Pinkp Punko/Geenie Cola
5) Snag/Snag, Jr.
4) Brando/TLB
3) Team Chicago
2) Claire
1) Mandos
 

So much for peace on earth...

I saw this breaking news headline in an e-mail: Bhutto Assassinated in Attack on Rally. During a season that is known for wishing one peace, it once again becomes apparent that it is a wish and wishes rarely come true.

We give you... KATHLEEN!!!

Our last entry... or last as of right now... Chuckles is still having UPS problems. His cookies are stuck in outer Tuckercarlstan... and there are still rumors that midniter is baking, but I have yet to see anything and technically, the 21st has come and gone SOOOOOOOO... let's get back to our last entry in hand. KATHLEEN!!!!

Kathleen sent a lovely environmentally-sound package. There were no bells and whistles, only a promise that the earth had been respected during her packaging. No trees were cut down. My inner druid loves that. There were also no bribes. Although there has been a lot of talk about the importance of bribes, Kathleen knows I dance to the beat of a drummer that has integrity, baby! Score one for Kathleen. Kathleen also uses her first name while blogging. Score two for Kathleen! Kathleen, although sweet, can also verbally kick most any blogger around the block and back. Score even more for Kathleen!!!

But, this is a bake-off, not a word-off, let's get down to brass cookies, shall we?? Kathleen sent two varieties, one of which is shown on the left. Ignore the environmentally-sound cutting board. Yes, it needed to be thrown... I mean throne (sorry, BG) out years ago, but this was a free-range cutting board and Kathleen felt it would be irresponsible to pluck another one out of nature. She's sticking with what she's got, cuts and scratches be damned!

On the cutting board are some very delicious oatmeal cookies that had coconut, chocolate chips and orange! Grizzled and I both loved them. We wanted more. We're both fond of the chocolate/orange combo so this was a hit. Add to that, the coconut and I think, nuts... and you've got a winner. I should know if nuts were in this, but frankly, I've tested so many cookies that they're all running together in one gigantor Zelmo concoction! I must confess, for some reason eggnog sounded good this holiday season... spiked eggnog and I've probably had more than I should. As my eldest lamblet said, I'm probably suffering from egg noggin. She's probably right. However... whether they had nuts or not is beside the point. We liked them. We ate them. They were a wonderful combo.

The second cookie that Kathleen sent was some little ginger wonder that I still can't quite figure out. It was a rolled cookie that was sliced. It was not overly decorative, not overly sweet, but was loaded with chunks of mouth-warming ginger. Kathleen may not have realized it, but this little baby was the perfect ending to 10 days of non-stop cookie sampling. Our stomachs were feeling a tad sheepish. Come to think of it, that could have been the eggnog. Our taste buds were nearly tapped out, but this deceptive cookie was the answer to our cookie prayers. If there is a Cookie Jesus, Kathleen is it. Ginger is known for its stomach-soothing effects. The mellowness of the cookie combined with the calming and warming ginger made us reeeeeeally like this one. Not all cookies need to smack you over the head with SWEAT! Again, we liked it.

We liked both cookies that Kathleen sent. We like the fact that she shows of a sense of responsibility towards Mother Earth. Kathleen is a good cookie in our book.

As I mentioned at the beginning of this post, Kathleen's entry is the last one in our hands. Chuckles' may escape and find its way here and if it does, I'll judge it because it was sent on time, but until then, this is it for the cookie countdown. I will put up a post tomorrow that links to all previous posts in the order of their posting. I realize that with the interruption of the holidays, some posts could easily be missed. No cookie post will go unnoticed. Everyone who baked gets their day.

I must return to napping.

The Billy Pilgrim Entry Letter

BP has sent me an electronic copy of his entry letter so that I might include it here. Yeah, I could have typed from the actual letter, but today that feels like work. Without further ado... The Letter. Look for the movie version some time in '09.

To whomever receives this package:
Thank you for entertaining our meager submittal. Please accept our humble bakerology efforts. We are but simple people here in Milwaukee, who do not have knowledge of esoteric ingredients like “insecticide” and “brittle”. We find nutrition in simple meals of moose, corn, and massive quantities of tequila which is brought to our land by indigent auto-dealers, moving here to work the annual cellulite harvest.

The combustibles herein are regrettably not accompanied by quality beverages, or a mulit-media extravaganza featuring dancing Snags and exploding melons. If you have a source nearby, I would recommend a tall glass of ice cold wisconsin moo-juice, or some nice clear spring water. And an extra large doobie never hurts. The Snappish cookies should NOT be dunked in coffee; unless, as the construction manual warns, “you like pork coffee”.

Zelmo was going to include some wonderful petroleum-based cakery products, but he had been also assigned to oversee construction of the American Made Gingerbread House, Modern Stylee; sadly, during construction, the Brittle shingles overwhelmed the reinforcing of the hearth, and the ensuing icing fire resulted in burns over 78% of his body, and baked all of his mind. In any estimation, he is overdone. Now he just lays in his Barca-Lounger,
drooling into his chili and watching “Space Nuts” reruns on a black-and-white tv. We are beside ourselves with grief; feel free to send get well cards and flavored ointments.

Should you feel the need for entertainment while sampling the bakestimals herein, please find enclosed a “Compacked disk” with some Holiday Selections popular around the Pilgrim Compound this time of year. Of course, it includes Glue Birl and Neddie doing “Christmas Time is Here” because although she may be a total Cookie Tyrant and Suck-up Briber to the judges and General Cookie Cheater, it’s a lovely song. Suffice to say that during the
bakenollogical effort, these songs came to occupy a special place in our left thumbs; we hope one of your digits will respond similarly.

The recipes represented have been hoarded in our tribe’s ancestral temple, only allowed light of day once every third year; we were allowed special dispensation in an off-year because great-great-great-grand-uncle Matilda Pilgrim once dated General Mills, who left her disheveled, post-rumpus to go back to the Fabled Cookie Wars of 1743; she has instructed her descendants to wage unceasing guerilla gorilla warfare against the bakest behemoth ever since. But maybe that’s a tale for a different time. Included in today’s package are:

1. Crawford’s Super-Detailed GingerySnappers, Brownish.

2. Biily P’s Golden Lumps (a recipe created by the Original Billy Pilgrim, the man who inspired Vonnegut in his love story Slaughterhouse Five, who invented these when his automobile overturned in a henhouse while delivering moonshine to on-duty police officers. The fire burned for 5 days)

3. Missus Pilgrims Slabs O Butter, Scotch, N CocoNut. We are unsure how much alcohol she included. If anyone eats more than one, let us know if they may still stand.

Warning: Do not apply to forehead. Avoid strong light and weak heat. Do not taunt baked goods. May cause lengthening of left limbs; if profuse sweating occurs, consult a doctor. Do not operate heavy vehicles or light entertainment. May obstruct justice; dispose of properly. IN NO CASE allow pets or other living thingsl to view. For external use only. Keep away from open flame and Happy Fun Ball. Baker makes no warranty, express or implied, and takes no responsibilioty for apocalyptic events relating to these bakemistological items. See a thereapist. Seriously.

PS. I have just been notified that Zelmo has come out of his morphine-addled haze long
enough to package his ‘entry’. Let’s give him a little slack on this one, OK? He has so little to live for. Winning a second-rate cookie contest would do wonders for his poor, damaged mind and body.

Note from moi- This letter had a certain Snaggishness to it... I'm starting to wonder, might BP and Snag be the same person? Has anyone seen both of them in the same room at the same time?

We give you... TEAM BILLY PILGRIM/ZELMO!!

Yes, it may be Boxing Day for some of you, but for the rest of us... it's back to work and that means entry #8! This entry is comprised of one Mr. Billy Pilgrim and his enigmatic *friend*, Zelmo.

BP was late to join the bake-off. As a matter of fact, he was not going to join at all. I'm not quite sure what made him change his mind... was it AG's promise of bannage? Was it the thought that someone with worse spelling might win? Who knows. Whatever it was, somewhere towards the end of decision time, BP dove in.

BP's entry arrived in what seemed to be excellent condition. I looked forward to opening the box, still not sure if this was going to be a real entry or a joke. I half expected to find fresh Wisconsin cow pie. I did not, I found a very, very funny letter, I found cookies... cookies and a lovely CD of holiday tunes that BP had made. There was only one problem with the CD... it was cracked right in the middle. I let BP know and he was kind enough to send me another. Amazingly enough, none of the cookies were harmed. They were all in pristine shape and were ready to be tasted.

Team BP/Zelmo's entry consisted of 4 types of cookies.

First on the list was in the words of BP, "Crawford's Super-Detailed GingerySnappers, Brownish". This was the 4th or 5th or 6th variety of a gingersnap/molasses type cookie that we have gotten. I like them, but one or two is more than enough. Grizzled on the other hand, lives for these cookies. Grizzled is a ginersnap/molasses-type cookie aficionado. Let me just say, GRIZZLED LOVED THESE and called it correctly when he spoke out with crumbs yet in his mouth, "... was, mumble, crunch, crunch, made with... crunch, mumble, lard!!!" Lard gets a bum rap, but lard does bring a certain je ne sais crunchiness to a baked good. I enjoyed the GingerySnappers, but Grizzled was down on his knees praising them.

Second in the BP/Zelmo line up was Billy P's Golden Lumps (a recipe created by the Original Billy Pilgrim, the man who inspired Vonnegut in his love story, Slaughterhouse Five, who invented these when his automobile overturned in a henhouse while delivering moonshine to on-duty police officers. The fire burned for 5 days).

The Golden Lumps were interesting. They were a very soft, gentle golden cookie that looked as if it had been dusted with cinnamon. At first I thought it might be nutmeg, but I do believe it's cinnamon. They had a very subtle taste and were quite good. They were interesting. While Grizzled and the eldest lamblet thought they tasted a hint of lemon, I felt the cookie had been made with a significant amount of baking powder or cream of tartar. There was a lingering tingle left in the back of ones mouth that I don't think came from citrus, but rather came from using a lot of one of those ingredients. I did not pick up on citrus tones, so I'm sticking with the fact that the acidic buzz on the back of the palate was indeed due to the amount of baking powder or cream of tartar included in the recipe. 

Cookie #3 in the BP/Zelmo entry was "Missus Pilgrim's Slabs O Butter, Scotch, N CocoNut. BP said he was unsure how much alcohol she included, but it we were able to stand after eating more than one... let him know.

These cookies were SWEET! They were a bar cookie that was loaded with butterscotch chips and coconut. They were very delicious. Did I mention they were sweet? They were. We enjoyed these cookies, but I believe these were the cookies that AG and UC fell down to praise.

Last, but not least in the BP/Zelmo entry was Zelmos' famous Bakake cookie... no his Dukakis cookie.. no... his Kabbalah cookie. Oh hell, I can't remember its name and I can't find it. BP?? Zelmo?? If you're out there, come over and refresh this tired memory. Zelmo's cookie can be seen in the photo up top. The cookie in that image is Zelmo's cookie. It's HUGE. It includes everything. Yes, I even found one old kitchen sink. This cookie is somewhat of an enigma, just like Zelmo. I'm not quite sure what it is. It's large, it's got chocolate chips in it, both white and semisweet, and yet I would not call this cookie a chocolate chip cookie. It's got pecans in it and yet I would not call it a pecan cookie. It's got a drizzled frosting on top that includes portions of candy canes thus giving it a minty overtone and yet I would not call it a mint cookie. The body of the cookie itself is what is throwing me. I can't quite place it. I'm not sure what it is. Maybe it's the Rorschach Test of cookies. Maybe we all bring out own hopes, wishes and fears to this cookie. I do know I enjoyed mine with coffee.

Well, there you have Team BP/Zelmo! It was a very good entry. I'm also giving high points for BP getting off his lackadaisical bake-off ass and sending them. His entry was most appreciated and his tuneage will be appreciated for some time.

I must add here that BP's entry did include a warning. At the bottom of his letter, in very small print, it said:

Warning: Do not apply to forehead. Avoid strong light and weak heat. Do NOT taunt baked goods! May cause lengthening of left limbs; if profuse sweating occurs, consult a doctor. Do not operate heavy machinery or light entertainment. Maybe obstruct justice; dispose of properly. IN NO CASE allow pets or other living things to view. For external use only. Keep away from open flame and Happy Fun Ball. Baker makes no warranty, express or implied, and takes now responsibility for apocalyptic  events relating to these bakemistological items. See a therapist. Seriously.

Well, our dog did view the items... let's just leave it at that. I'm sure we'll get the paw prints off the ceiling and we never liked those neighbors anyhow... We'll also be seeking therapy after the new insurance plan kicks in in 1/08.

Peace on Earth

Wishing those of you who celebrate Christmas, a very merry one, and wishing every last one of us, peace on Earth.

We give you... Mendacious D!!!

Update: We've got a photo and a cookie post link!

7th in our continuing stream of baked goods comes from exotic lands from the north!! It's Mendacious D, recently elected ombudbirdpersonpantedman of 3Bulls!!! His baking, however, is connected in no way with 3Bulls! and all complaints regarding his baking should be made directly to Billy Pilgrim.

I was not sure if MenD was going to bake. You never know who the heck is going to bake in these bake-offs because everyone acts as if they're going to bake, but it's not until the cookie dough hits the road that you realize which people were serious and which were half-assed. Well baby, MenD baked!

I received a call the other morning from my beloved Grizzled. He said a strange package from foreign lands had arrived, what might it be?? Who was it from?!?!? We did not recognize a package of this sort because it was in good shape and had apparently not been beaten, squished, or mishandled within an inch of its life. This package must not have spent much time in the US Postal system. No... it had been sent air mail from our moose-loving brothers up north. It first touched down on US soil at O'Hare and was then quickly driven to Grizzled's office. I think the lesson here is perfectly clear. If you would like your goods to arrive undamaged, unharmed, unmaimed, you need to send your goods via Canada!

But onto the actual goods... As I said, I had not been sure if MenD was going to bake. I'm not sure I'd go to so much effort or expense. God only knows what you need to do to get homemade baked goods across country lines!! But MenD did it. Not only did he do it, but he cut out all of the crap and falderal that most entries succumbed to. He merely baked one most excellent cookie and then sent it through a superior postal service. End of story. MenD wins! Oh, I'm kidding. I have no clue who is going to win. Numbers have yet to be crunched. However, my point is, in this bake-off you can most definitely win even with an entry of one!!!

I've gotten off topic again, back to the actual baked good. MenD baked the most delicious and most beautiful peanut butter and jelly cookie. He has not supplied photos and had I been thinking, I would have taken one of my own because as I've mentioned, THEY ARRIVED INTACT! There was nary a molecule out of place and it's not even like he used mega-packing products! He packed in a Tupperware-type container with waxed paper and put that in a bubble wrap type of envelope! That's it! And they arrived INTACT!!! But back to the cookies. MenD's cookies were awesome. I think the thing we all appreciated was the lack of peanut butter hammer. I don't mind a peanut butter cookie, but one is usually plenty. Grizzled prefers less than that. Have I mentioned that Grizzled ate most of these??? Except for those that the lamblets won in battle? These were delicious. These were really moist as well... and the center dollop of jelly? Sublime. I don't know all that was going on here and MenD did not include his war chart in the lightly packed item that somehow still arrived intact, but these worked. I've been asked by those who live in my house, to GET THE RECIPE!

MenD??? If you're out there... send info! Send photos! Send details! We loved your cookies. We love your postal service!! We love your moose!!!

Give it up for MenD... our entrant from the exotic and faraway land of CANADA!!!

w00t!

We give you... Team Pinko Punko/Geenie Cola!!!

Today's post brings us entry #6, a team comprised of the audacious Pinko Punko and the lovely Geenie Cola. Pinko and I went head to head for awhile in last year's bake-off, but if I recall... I WON!! I was curious if he'd bring anything to the table this year or if he was still licking his wounds. Well, wait no longer... he brought it, he most definitely brought it.

Waiting for me on my doorstep, after a long painting class with my crazy ladies, was a charming little package from another time zone. I scurried inside and opened it after seeing the 3B's on the return address. I wondered... would it be filled with condiments? Would it be filled with grapefruit remnants? Would the items be packed with sparkle pants? Instead I found a large variety of cookies that would charm your socks off.

First off, Pinko and GC made a large number of little chocolate sandwich cookies with different fillings. These cookies were about the size of a quarter and had one (or two) of the following fillings: mint, dark chocolate with a hint of Frangelico, dark chocolate with orange or dark chocolate with butter rum fillings. They were also done in various shapes. They came in cute little flowers, crescents or stars. As Grizzled said, "Those cookies are so cute you can hardly stand it!" and they were. They were adorable. They had a certain charm about them and I could see how they would be the perfect garnish for ice cream or as an aside with your after-dinner coffee. But as we all know, cookies that look great are not great if they don't taste good so we got down to the business of tasting them.

Some of you might recall that in an earlier post I was talking about the fact that sometimes going lighter on the chocolate is preferred as opposed to being walloped with the chocolate hammer. Well, there is a time and place for the hammer and this was it. These cookies were INCREDIBLY CHOCOLATY, but it was not a cloying chocolate. It was a rich, dark, intense wafer cookie. The wafer itself was wonderfully short while the filling was creamy. Pinko had suggested these as a topping for vanilla ice cream. I would think that would be wonderful. The sweet ice cream would play well against the sharpness of the chocolate. We all loved these. Our favorite by far was the mint. We felt the other flavors were good as well, but wished they could have been a little stronger. Still, they were great cookies and looked as if they took a ton of effort. They had eye appeal and they had taste appeal. One thing I forgot to mention earlier, their little size was perfect for the wallop they packed. You wouldn't want them to be much bigger.

Next in TPPGC's entry were Spritz sandwich cookies. They started with a classic Spritz cookie in the shapes of trees and squares, but once again filled them with a variety of flavors. While they were very tasty, the filling made the cookie a little soft and one of the great things about a Spritz cookie is that they are so crispy. Don't get me wrong, these were not bad, we just felt the filling was not needed. It was an interesting experiment though and once again took a lot of effort. The thought that went into elevating an already elevated Spritz cookie was appreciated.

Next in the line-up was a recipe from GC's family. It was her Aunt's cranberry/white chocolate oatmeal cookie. Both Grizzled and I liked these. We liked the sweetness of the white chocolate with the tartness of the cranberry. They were rich, but not too rich. They were a nice break from the intensity of the chocolate hammer sandwiches. I wish I could remember more about them, but as I look at my notes, all I see written is, "Yum".

Last but not least, TPPGC included something with BACON!! It would not be a true Pinko offering if he did not slip in something with bacon... this is the man after all who wrapped bacon around a Take 5 Bar in his Delicious or Disgusting... Bacon came in the form of a Simon and Garfunkel savory herb/bacon infused shortbread. It was really interesting. It was pretty to look at, Pinko having used flat leaf parsley not only as flavor, but as a decoration. it appeared as though the whole parsley leaves had been put into the pan first and then the shortbread dough, pressed down on top of it.(Now that I see the image, it looks as though other herbs were used in this way.) As for the flavor, I have to say, I thought it was quite tasty. The bacon flavoring was in proper balance and you could hear from all of the herbs. Pinko used none other than the famous combo of Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Thyme. Our main critique about this entry was the fact that it was too sweet, but even Pinko said this himself. He wanted to use less sugar, but was not sure how to adjust the recipe. As it stood, it reminded me of a gourmet McGriddle. :) It was actually more like a focaccia, but with the shortness of shortbread. Again, both Grizzled and I thought this was good and just needed further development. As Grizzled said, he thought it was a recipe in search of perfection.

All in all, TPPGC submitted an amazing entry. Those little chocolate cookies were delicious and were also so charming. They were an interesting combo of sophisticated and cute. While we felt the team succumbed to the "gilding the lily" syndrome with the Spritz cookies, we really appreciated the thought and effort that went into taking a classic and trying to make it new. As for the oatmeal, yum... and last, but not least, I am intrigued with the bacon/herb infused shortbread. It was nice to have something savory after so much sweet.

As if the baking was not enough, Team Pinko Punko/Geenie Cola also took the extra effort to make a poignant and moving video that recounts their baking experience. I suggest getting your tissues ready beforehand. Pinko may have gone whimpering away after his loss last year, but he came back roaring this year. Yes, he came back roaring and wielding the chocolate hammer!!!

We give you... Snag, Jr.!!!

Our #5 entry comes from none other than Snag Jr! That's right, I said Snag, Jr.! Apparently Snag, Sr. was too busy with his grackle-polishing business so son #1 jumped in to fill the spot. From what I hear, Snag, Jr. is quite the responsible one. He must take after his mother... but enough about that and onto cookies!!

*Entry Snag* consisted of 4 varieties of cookies. I did not have names for all of them, but will describe them the best I can.

Cookie #1 was a Mexican Wedding Cake of sorts, a very short, very rich butter (there's that word again...) cookie that was LOADED with sizable pecans bits. Grizzled and I both love pecans so we were happy with this. It was while tasting this first cookie that it dawned on me that had Snag been doing the baking, these pecans might have been replaced with grommets. My appreciation for Snag Jr rose appreciably. These were an excellent cookie.

Cookie #2 was a ginger cookie of sorts. Again, a delicious cookie that was both crispy and chewy and filled with wonderful spice. Grizzled was all moaning and groaning over the ginger cookie. He thought it was wonderful, but at one point I think I heard him say, "Needs more moose lard!" I thought it was fine the way it was and judging from his contented sounds, so did he.

Cookie #3 was a very thick peanut butter cookie with a large chocolate kiss in the middle. It was rich, it was moist, it was good. The lamblets were quite happy with it. Grizzled is not terribly fond of peanut butter cookies, but that merely says something about him and not the quality of the cookie.

And last, but not least, we had the Snaggerdoodle! It is the cookie shown in the photo up on the left. Don't be put off by Snag's questionable photography skills... I know we were all trying to decide what the heck those were... were they beef carpaccio sprinkled with uncooked oatmeal? Were they roadkill jerky garnished with lead-based paint chips? No, they were AWESOME chocolate cookies sprinkled with slivered almonds. The chocolate was intense and wonderful. The cookies were really moist. It was almost like a brownie, but not quite as rich. They also tasted as if they had almond flavoring in them. We were pretty full by the time we got to the Snaggerdoodle, but these babies were wolfed by all 4 of us. Only a few straggling crumbs remained and nary a "needs more moose lard" was uttered.

All in all, this was a solid entry. It deserves even higher praise because a 14 yr-old young man took the initiative to enter the bake-off and do the work. Props to Snag, Jr. for a job well done and props to Snag for raising such an awesome son.

A small aside that has nothing to do with bake-off. Happy Winter! The precise moment of the winter solstice was this morning at 1:08 a.m. EST. The solstice marks the start of winter, the shortest day, and the longest night. There is a slight lag, but daylight will soon start to increase. Woo-hoo! Again, Happy Winter!

(The majority of the punctuation that was somehow missed at 5a.m. this morning has now been added.)