Saying yes...

Apple Gacks!

We were up in Wisconsin this past weekend. It was beautiful fall weather, not too hot, not too cold. There was a brilliant blue sky and the leaves, although not fully tricked-out, were starting to get their autumnal groove on.

I ran to the store to pick up a few things and was told to grab some beer in case the basement fridge was empty. I had a lovely 12-pack of Blue Moon in my cart when all of a sudden I saw the Leinenkugel Apple Spice. I was under the spell of autumn and apples. I put back the Blue Moon and replaced it with the Leinie's. Why I didn't just buy both will be saved for another discussion on another day.

I wasn't really worried about the Apple Spice. I like Woodpecker hard cider so I figured if it veered towards that, it'd be good. I had also really liked Leinenkugel's Summer Shandy. Although not as good as a real Shandy, I thought it was still pretty tasty. Maybe Leinekugal had worked some more malt magic.

WRONG! WRONG, WRONG, WRONG! Did I saw, WRONG?!?!

Oh dear... if one looks at the label, the description says something about a touch of cinnamon. You smell the cinnamon the minute you open the bottle. The first sip was not bad... by the second sip, you're thinking there should probably not be a third, but then for some insane reason you think that burning spice feel on the back of your throat will mellow so you take another.

My palate searched for beer flavor... there was little to be had. My palate did detect the hard cider flavor which was not totally bad although ran a bit sweet for my taste. It probably would have been ok had it not then been used and abused by the overwhelming abundance of SPICE. It felt more or less like drinking potpourri.

No bottles that were opened were even near finished before being disposed of. I heard comments of how Leinie's must be competing with TJ Swann or Boone's Farm. Personally, I think it was right up there with Glade.

What amazes me is that this is its second season. Enough people enjoyed this to bring it back! If anyone out there is a fan of Leinie's Apple Spice, I'd love to know why. Maybe it's popular with people who don't want a beer to taste like beer. Maybe it's popular with people who think the Renuzit should taste as good as it smells...

There was a variety of beer left in the basement fridge so I was saved from hearing about the horrors of my purchase. I think it will be awhile though before I try any seasonal "flavor" beers again. God help me though it Leinie's rolls out an Egg Nog Lager come December.

Let them eat grave dirt!

A slightly odd post over at the Republic of Dogs about Keith Richards snorting his father had me remembering a bizarre story of my young adulthood. When I was new to the city, Chicago to be specific, I had a former roommate who hooked me up with a job at a theater that would at least guarantee that I had rent money. It was more like being paid to have a social life. I did any number of jobs... I painted signage for the top of the building. Signs you only saw if you were riding the El. I did concessions, I did coat check. I did a number of other odd jobs I have since forgotten. But, like I said, it was fun. There was no division between the cast, their supporting staff and the front of house staff. It was a wonderful time, full of a lot of fun and a lot of fun memories. I was indeed paid to have a social life.

One of those memories was of the prop master whom I shall call, Gertrude. Gertrude was a gay man who thought he was Gertrude Stein reincarnated. Gertrude was full of life, full of advice (most of which I never really had the need to use) and full of... eccentricities. Gertrude liked me almost from the get-go since I have a low voice. He said he judged people by whether or not he could wake up with a hangover and be able to stand their talking. I guess I passed the test.

Gertrude, diagnosed with HIV back in the late 80's, when such a diagnosis was usually a death sentence, decided I was the one he wanted to clean out his apartment. For some reason he chose me as the person to not freak out and yet deal with his little peccadilloes with sensitivity. I must admit, I'm a bit relieved that I have never been called upon to do that duty. I don't know if it was due to us going in different directions or if he found someone else with whom to share his secret side. Although scared, I was honored to be asked, and was relieved when I didn't have to go there.

As I mentioned, this person thought he was Gertrude Stein reincarnated. I don't remember all of the stories or all of the evidence, but one thing I will never forget was him telling us about how he got a jar of Gertrude Stein's grave dirt and...

ATE IT!!!

Yes, he ate it... something about him being a part of her, her being a part of him.

I don't remember. What I do remember though is that he was not one to celebrate his b-day. He didn't like the fal de ral. Someone in the company though knew that I *knew* him and asked if I'd make a cake. I said I would. I make him a cake with Picasso's, Gertrude Stein on it. I did it in my teeny, tiny studio apartment with a splitting hangover, but it is still one of my finest creations.

Gertrude, I hope you're still with us, still out there. I just hope you're not eating anymore grave dirt.

I'm done!

And if I never see another stick of butter... it will be TOO SOON!

Photos will most likely be up tomorrow morning. Photos have also been sent to the lovely judges. Packages will be sent out tomorrow.

Bill O'Reilly was definitely possessing my kitchen, but I managed to persevere. I had to bag a few items due to funky happenings, but other items will go out along with one special Limited Edition cookie. Each judge was going to get one, but after realizing I was risking insanity, it was decided that Blue Girl would judge from the photo and the actual cookie would go to deserving Res.

On that note, I need to go do some butter detox.