It's been a week... I realized I could use a laugh... one of those laughs where tears and snot stream down your face and you instantly feel the weight of the world peeled away, and you're 10 years younger... You know, like Epsom salts for the spirit.
So, after getting everyone out of the house this morning, I had work to do. I left both dogs, comfortably lazing in the living room, as I retired to the office/studio to take care of a number of things. Between music playing and being lost in work, I was more or less oblivious to the outside world until it popped into my head that I had wanted to hang some stuff outside to air out, today being one of the last true hot days we're due for a while.
I get out to the living room to grab one of the dog beds, but notice Squirmy LIttle Dog is missing. This is strange as he's a follower of the sun and this room faces east. It's his place to be in the morning. I go upstairs, thinking maybe he's decided to plunk down on one of the beds since Alpha Wolf Grizzled is out of the house. Nope, no dog. I go back down to the main floor... crap... did he let himself out the kitchen screen door?? And then I hear skittering in the basement. I find him cowering and shaking. I immediately suspect he's had an accident. Nope, none can be found, plus nothing has been shredded. I attempt to pull him up the stairs, but he does not want to go farther than the top.
I take him outside, walk him around. He seems normal, as normal as he can be... I take him back in, ZOOM! Right into the basement he goes... cowering and shaking... I coax him up with water and food... but he will not go past the kitchen. Large Golden God of a Dog is obliviously sleeping in the living room. I start thinking maybe SLD has eaten something that doesn't agree with him, but decide to see if I can get him to go into other rooms.
No, he will not go.
I start wondering if I have been so oblivious that someone is in the house. I cancel that thought as I know both dogs would have gone ape-shit had that happened. But something is bothering him... something at the top of the stairs...
It should be of no surprise to anyone here that I watched too many scary movies as a kid and young adult... only stopping once I had children. Suddenly I didn't want to know about all of the horrors (real or imagined) in the world... I was suddenly certain that some evil being was waiting in one of my closets (Marcus Bachmann?)... some evil being that could still fit into them even though they're overflowing since they were made for a 1950's family who didn't seem to amass as much stuff as a 21st Century family... some evil being that only the dog could sense.
I hauled the dog into our bedroom. He hopped right onto the bed, a good sign, but then sunk down and started to shake as he stared at the doorway.
Oh. My. God. Evil was in my damn bedroom doorway and I couldn't even see it. I started to imagine all of the horrors that would happen next. Would the evil being, knowing that I kind of knew it was there, slowly drive me insane or wold it be fast and furious... a smear of blood and guts as my sanity left me???
And then the dog flew from the bed, leaping and spazzing in the doorway as he went into the hall, tumbling down the stairs. I got up the nerve to look... ah... the fan... the fan we leave out because our crappy old 50's house has a shitty old bathroom that drips in condesation unless we have some airflow... that fan had been switched to oscillating mode. On top of it, one of the little latches that keeps the cage in place was a bit off and was rattling. I pushed it back in place... I shut off the oscillating mode and poof, SLD sautered into the living room and hopped up on his favorite chair.
I called Grizzled soon after to tell him about it. His only question? Had I taken a 5lbs maul into the basement like I had back in the city when I was convinced there were raptors behind the furnace...
My top three searches... the searches that bring people to my blog... are still Blue Moon Ice Cream, Peeps, and How tall is Tina Fey's husband?... Yes, those seem to be the constant three. If I remember to look at my stats, I can guarantee I'll see those almost every day, if not many times a day, but moving up with a bullet is the often present search for herr doktor bimler. Not a week goes by that someone isn't looking for him. I've begun to wonder if he's not just searching for himself. Too much wormwood ale will do that to a person.
I have a bad habit of not downloading every photo I've taken so looking at my memory card does indeed bring back memories... even if I don't fully remember taking the photos. Maybe I didn't take this. Maybe something more sinister did. I'm guessing there's a big ol' head o' lettuce behind the camera... reveling in the emergence of its creation!